


Office Gossip

by AlleyMichaelis



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comedy, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Gossip, Hokage Uzumaki Naruto, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings, POV Outsider, Protective Uchiha Sasuke, Secret Relationship, Uchiha Sasuke Returns to Konoha, sort of anbu Uchiha Sasuke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:55:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28247274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlleyMichaelis/pseuds/AlleyMichaelis
Summary: Naruto is, finally, the Hokage. Naturally, he chooses his lifelong best friend and jounin extraordinaire as his personal bodyguard.Wait, is the Hokage wearing the Uchiha symbol?OrOne morning, Sasuke and Naruto exchange clothes by accident. People talk.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 20
Kudos: 271
Collections: Foxy fox 🦊, Naruto/Boruto Secret Santa 2020, Sasunaru fics to live for





	Office Gossip

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lunoiere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunoiere/gifts).



> Merry Christmas lunoiere!  
> Honestly, what are the chances that I get to be your Secret Santa this time? I was SHOKETH when I found out you were my Secret Santa too! I only hope to do justice to the amazing gift you gave me, and I hope you like it at least half as much as I liked yours.  
> Anyway, this is for you. Enjoy!

Out of all the possible scenarios, what triggered the mess that would fall upon them all was no more than a simple, well intentioned (if somewhat gossip-y) question.

“By the way, wasn’t Uchiha supposed to go all shadowy in a ‘I protect the village from outside’ kind of way?” a blond woman mentioned, looking from the distance as said Uchiha strolled by without sparing a glance.

“I mean, he did leave the village for a while, remember?”

“Yeah, for like two weeks, until the Hokage had enough and decided to chase after him to bring him back. Again.”

“I heard,” a third woman intervened in their conversation, “that the Hokage had to carry him all the way back to the village because Uchiha just _wouldn’t_ come.”

“Really? I heard the Hokage offered to give him the easiest missions if he returned.”

“I heard all it took was a large bonus.”

As the three secretaries gossiped, Sakura laughed quietly from her corner. They were all in the lounge in the Hokage tower, passing the time until their lunch break was over. Or well, everyone else was, Sakura was just waiting for Sasuke to join her for that lunch he promised.

“If you must know,” Sakura spoke loud enough to be heard by the three secretaries, all of whom blushed a little for being caught gossiping about their boss. Sakura smiled calmly to reassure them. “All of the rumors are true.”

“Wait, all of them?” spoke the first woman incredulously.

“Well, yes, sort of. When Naruto found Sasuke, he had to drag him out of the place he was staying and towards Konoha for about half the way here,” she placed a hand on her chin, deep in thought. “After that I don’t know much, they’re both quite reserved with the details, but I know Naruto had to threaten Sasuke to fire his Ambu team if he didn’t come back, and Sasuke just wouldn’t trust Naruto’s safety to anyone else, you know?”

The three secretaries thought of the dark, tall shadow always following Naruto as the most loyal guard, and couldn’t help but nod in agreement.

“Then Sasuke asked for a bonus -which Naruto granted- and here we are.”

“That’s… quite a story.” The third secretary commented. Sakura nodded.

“Oh it gets better. Sasuke was only a day away from Konoha, but they were gone for a week.”

“Wait, really?”

“Oh yes. No one knows why or what they did. As I told you, they’re quite secretive with the details.” Sakura concluded, leaning back on her seat and happily watching the bemused and astonished expressions of the secretaries.

From then on, it all went to hell.

* * *

The three secretaries shared an office. Taking that into account, it was more than common for either of them to be coming and going from the office all day long. What was not quite as common, however, was one of them barging loudly into the room, face flushed and eyes wide.

“I just saw the Hokage holding hands with Uchiha!” Said secretary one. The other two immediately perked up in attention.

Since that peculiar conversation with miss Haruno, the three of them made it their life mission to discover if there was something else going on between the Hokage and his shadow, but they hadn’t discovered anything so far.

“What do you mean holding hands?” Secretary two questioned, crossing her arms over her desk.

Secretary one frowned as if the question wasn’t even worth an answer. “It’s kinda obvious, don’t you think?”

“I _mean_ ,” secretary two rolled her eyes. “Holding hands in a romantic way? Or holding hands in an awkwardly long handshake?”

“Definitely romantic.” At the answer, secretary two hummed.

“If I may,” secretary three intervened. “The Hokage _is_ prone to giving physical touch freely.”

“He’s not _that_ bad,” secretary one complained weakly.

“No?” secretary two sassed her, “What about all the times someone saw the Hokage kissing miss Haruno’s forehead?”

“Or hugging miss Hyuga?” secretary three added.

“Yeah, and any time the Kazekage visits, the Hokage’s all over him. Hokage-sama is always touching him in some way. Or giving him love-eyes if they’re on opposite sides of the table.”

“And if they are, the Hokage immediately tries to change seats with someone to be next to the Kazekage.”

“And they brush knees.” Secretary two added as a final touch.

“Oh, yeah. They do.” secretary three agreed in a contemplative tone.

“Fine. Why don’t you two come see for yourselves, then?” Secretary one protested. The other two secretaries agreed, and soon they were on their way to the gardens where secretary one had seen the infamous couple (or not couple, who the hell knew) allegedly holding hands. It was a good plan; except they weren’t holding hands anymore when the secretaries arrived. Instead, Uchiha was carrying the Hokage on his back.

“Is that the Hokage?” Secretary one asked her companions, squinting in an effort to get a better picture.

“I think so.” Secretary two shrugged. They didn’t even need to continue their walk, since Uchiha was walking towards them.

“Good evening.” The three secretaries greeted in chorus.

“Good evening.” Uchiha nodded in recognition.

“Is that the Hokage?” Secretary three couldn’t help but ask. Uchiha sighed, clearly frustrated.

“Yes. The idiot spent the whole night at the office again. He literally fell asleep walking.” Uchiha affirmed his grip on the sleeping Hokage. Now that they were close, the secretaries could see the Hokage’s legs and arms tightened around Uchiha in a koala-like way. His head was resting on the other’s shoulder carelessly and he was snoring softly, long lashes projecting shadows down his cheeks. “Excuse me.”

And he left. The three secretaries stood there for several minutes, before one of them spoke.

“He either is our boss’s boyfriend, or a really good bodyguard.”

And so, they were back at square one.

* * *

Not long after, their little club ‘Are the Hokage and his shadow dating or not’ expanded, meaning they got more intel than they could deal with.

The first one to join was the mail delivery guy. He claimed he saw the Hokage share a ramen with Uchiha. _Share_ . A _ramen_. If his intel was true, then a wedding would soon be announced. Unfortunately, they were a very serious club and required proof. The mail man’s allegations could never be confirmed.

The second one to join was the Hokage’s cook. He claimed he saw them cuddling on the couch in the Hokage’s office. And he had proof, two eyewitnesses who also saw them cuddling. Or rather, the Hokage cuddling on top of his shadow, and said shadow glaring daggers at the intruders just in case they dared to awaken the blond. Needless to say, the three of them ran out of the office as quietly as they could.

The third and fourth person to join their group were a pair of interns who happened to live by the Hokage’s apartment. One morning, on their way to work, they saw both men leaving the apartment _together_ . In the _morning_ . On a _Monday_ . The nature of the weekend long sleepover was severely discussed by the members of the club, but they failed to reach a conclusion. Again, either Uchiha was dating their Hokage, or he was a _really good_ bodyguard who never left his side.

Who the fuck could tell, at this point.

In all honesty, they were beginning to lose hope. Every bit of evidence, every compromising situation could always be explained both ways. At this rate, they would never be able to figure out the nature of their relationship. All things considered, it was a surprise when the three secretaries got the amazing opportunity to acquire some data in person. All three at once.

It was a quiet Wednesday afternoon, and the Hokage would be having a barbeque with some of the influential clan members of Konoha. Hence, all the staff was required to act their best, dress nicely, and pretend to be formal and decent enough to work with the Hokage. The three secretaries had been tasked with bringing the tea to their guests before the meal arrived, and so they did.

The parlor where the clan leaders assembled was the nicest one on the Hokage Tower, big and nicely decorated with all kinds of flowers. As the women went around the tables to serve the tea, they noticed that everyone but the Hokage (and by extension his bodyguard) were already there.

“Good afternoon!” The Hokage yelled as he entered the room, quite accordingly to his usual calm and reserved personality (notice the sarcasm). As he walked to the head of the table under the watchful eye of all the presents, everyone noticed his strange choice of attire and reacted with various degrees of mixed expressions, from amusement to horror and even hopefulness.

“Hey, Naruto.” The representative from the Nara clan called. His expression was dull and bored. “Does this mean you’re finally banging Uchiha?”

The Hokage made a confused noise, and even tilted his head to the side a little. Nara made a gesture towards his clothes, and recognition shined in the blond’s eyes.

“Oh, this.” Yeah, _that_ . _That_ meaning the distinctive Uchiha symbol on his uncharacteristically black shirt, nothing alike his usual bright and colorful clothing. The three secretaries exchanged hopeful glances. Could this mean they were really together? Was it a declaration of marriage? Was it a simple mistake after a moment of passion? Could it be even more?

The Hokage had the nerve to laugh heartedly. “I spilled coffee on my attire and Sasuke lent me his.”

On second glance, Uchiha was clearly sleeveless under his jounin vest. The horror expressions (mainly coming from those who still hoped to make an advantageous marriage by offering their children to the Hokage as quality spouse material) slowly morphed to calmer ones, and the secretaries lamented. Nara, on the other hand, remained thoughtful.

Nobody would have thought anything of it if it hadn’t happened again just a few days later.

This time the secretaries weren’t around to witness the situation, but enough people at the tower claimed to have seen it for them to categorize it as proof of the might-be-relationship. Around ten people claimed that they saw the duo having a midnight cup ramen at the tower’s kitchen, barefoot, clearly drunk and dressed in the other’s clothes. While watching the Hokage wear (again) the Uchiha symbol was indeed shocking, it was nothing compared with the sheer astonishment of seeing Uchiha wearing the Hokage’s cape and hat.

The next morning, the club dedicated to discovering the nature of the relationship between the two men grew by twenty people. Two weeks later, the entirety of the tower’s staff was in the club and on the lookout for evidence of the might-be-relationship. But even so, they found nothing conclusive.

Three months had passed since the founding of the club and Christmas was just around the corner. The secretaries were once again gossiping in the break room, complaining bitterly about the lack of progress when Sakura Haruno came in.

“Oh, hello.” She smiled and walked towards them. “I’m so sorry to bother you on your break, I came here to give this invitation for my Christmas party to Naruto, but I need to rush back to the hospital. Could one of you please make sure he gets it?” The card in her hand was clearly Christmas themed, red and green, if not particularly beautiful. It was clearly handmade, and it seemed that crafts were not part of miss Haruno’s strengths. They didn’t mention it, though.

“Of course, I’ll give it to him.” Secretary one accepted the card. Miss Haruno thanked her before leaving promptly. She didn’t mind, she needed to deliver a few documents to the Hokage, anyway, and their break would be over in fifteen minutes. They chatted for a little bit longer, and as soon as the fifteen minutes were over they walked towards their shared office, where secretary one grabbed the other documents she needed to bring to the Hokage, and headed straight to the office.

“Excuse me, Hokage-sama?” She knocked on the door. Dead silence answered her. “Hogake-sama?” She tried again with no luck.

She sighed. Her boss had probably snuck out (again) to eat ramen (again) at that place he liked so much. Well, just because the Hokage wasn’t in his office meant that they could get some rest as well. Feeling confident that the office was empty she opened the door, fully intending to leave the stack of papers on the desk before promptly leaving.

Oh, what a great surprise it was to find out the office was not, in fact, empty.

Upon hearing the door opening, the two men all but jumped in opposite directions. They were half naked and gasping, their lips were red and swollen and their necks were bruised with what was clearly a ton of hickeys. Even more so, the mess on the floor was a good indicator of the activities that had taken place on the desk.

“Shit!” the secretary said eloquently, dropping the papers she had been holding to the floor in order to cover her eyes. “I’m so sorry, I’ll come back later.”

The Hokage seemed mostly amused at the situation if his wide grin was anything to go by. Uchiha, on the other hand, looked more than abysmally pissed for the interruption. He had the same murder-y glare that the secretary had only seen being directed at people who oh so casually disappeared a few days after receiving such a glare.

She swallowed hard. The Hokage smiled calmly at her. “Just leave the papers where they are, thanks.” And oh god, he was in his _underwear_. Orange ones. With little smiley faces.

The secretary left as fast as she could. Once she was away from the immediate danger that Uchiha represented, she felt her whole face warm up with embarrassment. Well, at least she could tell the others that Uchiha and the Hokage were most definitely dating.

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas everyone!  
> Do let me know if you liked it! Comments are the food of my soul.


End file.
